So, I was talking to Jane about some therapies I’ve been hearing about that get old emotional trauma out of the body. Some of these courses are quite expensive.
Well, she goes on to tell me that you can do this on your own, using only your imagination. I’m like “What now?”
She went on to explain that your memories, like your DNA, can in fact be changed. Everything is made of energy so…. it’s impermanent. So basically, you can think about a traumatic memory in your childhood, and then just change it to a happy ending. Re-do it in your mind a bunch of times and… well you’ve reprogrammed the memory.
So, today I gave it a shot.
For those of you that are unawares my childhood was not a pleasant one.
Although I had one scene in my mind I wanted to work on, this other one just came up and… it felt more pertinent so i went for it.
The story is, when I was 7, I managed to tear the skin on the top of my head by ramming my head into a metal hook. I needed 29 stitches.
While getting the stitches (yes, it f’in hurt!) my mom was there, and she said “Hey I’m going to buy you WHATEVER you want after this!” and I said “Great, can I have a Construx set?” and she said “sure!”
So, sure enough I made it through the stitches
….but I never did get that construx set.
And… amazingly, that broken promise was still causing me pain on some deep level… because it just surfaced when i lay down and thought about painful childhood memories.
Anyways, so I visualize myself being in my mom’s room for the scene.
(Strangely, even though I can vividly remember the house I grew up in, the only room I can’t remember is mine….wtf?)
Anyways, so a couple of days after being released from the hospital, I’m sitting there, and my mom comes in with a big box. I’m super excited. I tear it open gleefully, and sure enough…
SO…. I’m happy as a kid can be. She tells me I’m a great kid, and that I deserve the Construx for being such a brave ass kid.
End of story.
I thought about it and just held that happy memory in my imagination… and then I felt a couple of tears going down the side of my face. Huh!
Felt like a release… it was good.
I’m not sure but I guess It was the happy memory that made be cry. Because, I suppose it’s something that I wanted so badly that never happened so… yeah. There you go.
As it happens, I have a shed load of traumatic memories up in my head, so… looks like it’s going to be a long week!
In our meeting Jane also said that i still emanate pain… so I’m going to assume it’s the childhood stuff. I need to work thru that (and some adult hearbreaks) in oder to be able to love fully …. and I further believe that my tight muscles (that have been causing issues all my life) are just emotional energy caught up in the body.
I’ll keep working on it and will report back.